Rick Siegel Prespectives on Freedom and Liberty

Police in Arms Over Proposed Handcuff Ban

The recent 3rd grade terrorist plot to kidnap and do harm to their teacher has the nation on the fringe of panic. Can it happen in your child’s school?

Washington, DC is responding to the crisis of terror in the America's third grade as fast as they can by working to disarm the young terrorists before they grow up. Senate and House are both working on bills to ban the use and manufacture of handcuffs without a safety and one NY Senator has asked that handcuffs be made illegal and a mandatory psych profile, three day waiting period, and permit for the purchase of crystal paperweights after the recent attacks. As Jackie Chan would say, "Everything is a weapon" and as G. W. Bush would say, "Everyone is a terrorist who isn't one of me."

While police and government are working to bring the 8, 10, and 12 year old terrorist to justice the press is working hard to bring the focus on youth terrorism, steel handcuffs, and broken steak knives. The only thing missing were box cutters, but they still might find those weapons of mass destruction.

Police Chief Tony Tanner claimed a student told school officials a classmate had shown off the knife. The eight-year-old boy, 2 girls (10 and 12) are being held as terrorists.

Americans can go to bed safer tonight as the authorities in Waycross Georgia have the Okefenokee Swamp terror cell locked up and your government will move to ban the terrorist items. The future of the terrorists is unknown at this time and no one answered the phone when we called.

Reference to this parody of sarcasim